Truths and Lies
In a romantic relationship should you always be honest with your lover, and should they be the same with you? Many couples seek this but can you, or your lover, wholeheartedly deliver? If not, when should you opt-in or out of honesty?
Everybody has skeletons in their closet or shameful secrets, and sometimes these secrets and skeletons become damn truths or damn lies. To be specific, many romantic partners hold back information from their lovers while others tell barefaced lies because the truth when revealed marks the end of their relationship.
I'll explain with two examples and contrast them with white lies and truths.
Bill has promised truthfulness with his wife Elaine, and yet he holds back the truth of his past extramarital affair.
We surmise his wife's love relies on his sexual fidelity; therefore, the truth brings a high chance of an end to their relationship.
Although this example is one of sexual infidelity in romantic love, damn truths - and damn lies come to that - cover a range of facts that if known by the lover (romantic or otherwise) will either end the relationship or place it in jeopardy.
For damn lies, on the other hand, Bill is challenged by Elaine on his fidelity. His response is clear.
No, I haven't had an affair.
This is a barefaced lie and goes against his promise of truthfulness. And yet, he's aware that to say otherwise may well end their love.
White Lies and Truths
In contrast to damn truths and lies, the white variety have no, or very little, bearing on the future of the relationship. In practical terms, this means the lover has no condition around the lie or information held back by the beloved.
The answer to, 'does my bum look big in this dress?' being no (where it does), and not saying, 'your mother doting over you like you're a little boy makes me so angry!' are a lie and a truth that fit this category.
Similarly, where untold skeletons and secrets of the past or present have no bearing on bestowed love, they aren't damn truths either. Why? Because like white truths they don't threaten damnation upon the lovers.
In modern media, it's rare to find examples of both damn truths and damn lies in a single movie or song. In Casablanca, however, we find both.
In the first example, Annina, a Bulgarian refugee, seeks two exit visas to America. Watch the clip; what advice would you give her?
In the second example, Victor, Ilsa's husband, is aware there is a close relationship between Rick and his wife. Again, watch the clip; what advice would you give him? Also, did Ilsa do the right thing in response?